I want to lead this one off by inviting all of you to my lovely bride’s 29th birthday party. It is going to be a family-friendly event over at Wekiva Island (1014 Miami Springs Road, Longwood, FL 32779) on Sunday October 9th from 1pm until 4 pm. We will be providing a cabana and food and soft drinks for everyone and the entire event will be a benefit for Child Rescue Network. So in lieu of gifts for Erin, please consider making a donation to CRN which advocates the education and protection of children from predators. Please visit the Facebook invite here.
And now onto the “news”.
When Chubby Checker implored us repeatedly to “do the Twist”, I am somehow not thinking he was referring to a macro-economic act of last resort where we essentially exchange an equivalent amount of short-term debt for longer-term debt. I think he wanted us to shake our asses in front of the opposite sex in the hopes of gaining their favor and eventually practicing the reproductive act.
But we’re going to do the boring first version, not the awesome Chubby version. It’s essentially QE3 lite sans the printing of more money. But what will it accomplish?
Ever done a balance transfer from one credit card to another? Yeah. That’s basically what we’re doing. I believe this is the step right before begging one’s relatives for cash which is followed by reluctantly taking a loan out from your “friendly” local bookie/Amscot which inexorably leads to having your knees broken by said bookie/Amscot.
Yes. Amscot will break your knees. And by Amscot, I mean China.
A recent Federal Reserve study elucidated the fact that about 2.3 million homeowners could have refinanced last year had lending standards not been so strict or had they not owed more than the home is worth. You don’t say. Well I’ll be goll-derned. You mean to tell me that this whole mortgage situation would be better if people still had home equity? Man. I gotta get me some of THAT stuff.
Existing home sales jumped upwards 7.7% while new home sales dropped 2.3% month-over-month. Translation: the waters are still choppy. No clear trend-line has emerged giving investors or prospective homeowners a clear direction as to where the market is heading. I’d love to give you the rose-tinted approach to these numbers, but that would be disingenuous of me.
Amidst that choppiness, Moody’s ratings agency cut the ratings for debt issued by Citigroup, Bank of America and Wells Fargo, claiming that the U.S. is now more likely (due to political pressures) to allow a defunct bank to go under (as opposed to an AIG-style of taxpayer subsidized bailout). Good to know that major bank failure is still at the forefront of our minds. That worked out ever so well back in 2008.
Palestine has applied to the UN for independent statehood and recognition as a full member in the world body. I’m sure that will end well. Or with a nuclear holocaust. Either or.
Republicans have debated across pretty much every major network in a borderline comedic series of back-and-forths between Rick Perry and Mitt Romney. Meanwhile, a Florida straw poll showed Her-man Cain (the only person who has never served in public office) winning the republican bid for presi-dent by a double-digit margin. Seriously Florida, didn’t we do enough damage during the Gore/Bush recount fiasco? We keep this crap up and the rest of the country is going to saw us off at the Georgia border and let us float over to Cuba.
Come out and party with us on the 9th. There will be cookies. And who doesn’t love cookies? Chubby loves cookies. Kind of a stretch jumping from being booted out of the nation a la ice floe to cookies, but I think I pulled it off. COOKIEEEEEES!!!!!
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