Yikes. Been a while. Did you miss me? I know I missed me.
I had that thought where I felt I really had to put together a barn-burner in this newsletter since I’ve slacked so bad the past month and a half. Then I had some bourbon and had that thought where I just wanted to write the same self-centered, politically incorrect, offensive, poorly edited drivel that I always do.
And you will love me for it.
Well, I had a kid. Honestly, Erin did most of the work. And it looked painful. Nevertheless, the fruit of my loins has been unleashed upon this world. Liam Augustine Whiteside. Hide your 0-3 month old daughters. Our doctor described him as a “Moose”, I jest you not. But yeah, he’s great. When he’s not screaming. Which is a lot.
iPhone 5 was recently released. The major change on this model? It’s longer. Apparently in the wake of Steve Jobs’ illustrious career and recent passing, Apple’s new CEO Tim Cook has an inferiority complex and is trying to prove something. With extra length. Kiiiiiiinda suggestive if you ask me.
Congress still hasn’t accomplished jack towards solving the Doomsday scenario that is the “fiscal cliff” that looms at the tail-end of this year. Basically, the Bush tax cuts expire along with a whole bunch of other fiscal policy crap that will result in the government taxing the fillings straight out of your teeth. So, of course the gravity of the economic consequences has created an apt hotbed for political angst to fester with absolutely nothing getting done, especially considering it’s an election year.
Have you ever seen Wile E Coyote handle a cliff well? Me neither. Soon that’ll be us taxpayers going “AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa….
“
And speaking of elections, we’re now half-way through our presidential debate season (which I imagine makes you completely forget about football season) with Biden and Ryan going mano-a-mano after Romney flexed his political swag in his first round against the Commander-in-Chief. The entire experience of all the political banter has led me inexorably to one conclusion:
We need to ban 24-hour news. All of it. Gone. There is nothing that requires this kind of friggin’ attention. A live-time undecided voters line chart? Screw that. Especially when factual validity is waaaaaaay in the back-seat to ’zingers’ and power phrases. What. The. Hell. America.
Although I am very pleased to see Big Bird taking his rightful place in the center of American Politico. I knew from a very young age that he would ultimately be an influential force in the leadership of this country. I also knew that stop signs were red and had 8 sides because of him. I love that guy.
The much anticipated third round of quantitative easing has been implemented by the Federal Reserve, instantly earning the title “Q.E.Infinity”. You see, in order to please both those concerned with growth and those concerned with the prospect of inflation, they tied the ongoing purchase of mortgage-backed securities to the unemployment rate, saying they’ll consider amping back the program once we’re south of 7% unemployment.
So, as a direct beneficiary of this program (because low rates makes me look like a rock star) I want to thank all of you for paying your taxes. Because that’s what we’re using to keep rates down. That and borrowed Chinese funds. Mainly borrowed Chinese funds. But thanks for the tax money anyway.
Since it’s been a month and half since I put one of these newsletters out, I won’t bore you with the endless number of economic indicators that have come out in my absence. To summarize, job growth did a little better, the housing sector is consistently putting up solid growth numbers (which everyone is very quick to question) and inflation has remained comparably dormant. Not spectacular stuff, but overall pointing in the right direction. On the downside, Europe still sucks at life and that coupled with our inability to get it together concerning fiscal policy has resulted in the International Monetary Fund cutting its forecast for global growth in 2012-’13. Locally speaking, Orlando is one of the top ten major metropolitan areas in the nation for year-over-year increases in asking prices for homes. So that is ultimately a huge positive for the prospect of home equity growth around here.
As always, take the good with the bad and respect the fact that these measures are volatile. For as much as many out there would love to hang their hats on particularly good or particularly bad news, it is all just aberrations in a greater river of information. It is best to focus on the general flow as opposed to each and every passing wave.
Just a thought, people. I do periodically have insightful moments. I tend to keep them to myself, but they still happen.
Random closing thought: talk-show host/celebrated walking manatee Rosie O’Donnell has described Honey Boo Boo (sadly you all know exactly who I am talking about) as a modern-day Shirley Temple. Take a minute for that to sink in. Yup. We’ve sunk that low. I think the Mayans were right about 2012. At least I hope so.
