We are officially 28 days into the new year. How are those resolutions going? Do people really even make "resolutions" anymore? Seems to me that it's all a bunch of whiny, faux-introspective drivel on how the "challenges of the past have really molded them into a better blah blah blah no one cares." The fact of the matter is that I hope you had a fantastic holiday season and that the year is kicking off for you in the best possible way. If you're happy then I'm happy for you. So let's see how the world has changed since the stone ages of 2013.
Recreational weed is legal in Colorado and Washington now. Also Obama says it's less dangerous than alcohol. Also the only two cities to legalize marijuana recreationally have their football teams in the Super Bowl. Also John Morgan just collected enough signatures to get medical marijuana on the Florida ballot.
For compliance reasons, I can't exactly comment on any of the above information. Buuuuuuuut yeah. There it is. Makes you go "Hm."
The dreaded tapering of QE3 is upon us. At the last Fed meeting (and Big Ben Bernanke's last official hurrah before Janet Yellen takes his place) the powers that be opted to dial back the bond buying from $85 billion per month to $75 billion, cutting $5 bil from mortgage bonds and $5 bil from treasury purchases. Contrary to popular belief when the event was first imagined back in April of 2013, the universe did not implode. In fact the whole experience was well received by the markets. The next Fed meeting is expected to yield a cut to our debt-buying appetite of equal size. Given that emerging markets are seemingly unilaterally faltering and China's growth has been called into question, the "least of all evils" approach to investing in America seems to still be working.
Kinda like going camping and having your group encounter a bear: you don't need to outrun the bear, you simply need to outrun the other campers.
This whole taper philosophy is somewhat muddled by the pathetic recent jobs report showing a gain of 74,000 jobs versus estimates of 200k+. It raised a series of questions from all the surprised analysts out there: was this due to an actual slowdown in job creation or an anomaly brought on by impressively bad weather? Is the massive drop in labor force participation a function of mostly retirees or are people simply giving up the hunt for gainful employment? Ultimately no one knows for sure. But it throws an interesting spin on future policy changes.
Our country has been abused by a "polar vortex" this winter which has disrupted many non-Floridian lives. Or so I hear on Facebook whilst sipping Mai Tais by the pool. Silly northerners and their snow-blowers and I assume pet penguins.
In light of general outrage coupled with reports showing that they have close to zero effect on anti-terrorism, the NSA is getting colonoscopized by some oversight boards. Which is a deliciously ironic twist of events. M. Night Shyamalan level shennanigans. That's what those sickos get for monitoring all that porn we watch.
North Korea's dear leader Kim Jong Un killed his uncle. With dogs he starved for 5 days. Then he put every known relative of his uncle's to death, including the ambassadors to Cuba and Malaysia and a bunch of children. Because that's totally a normal and sane move for a country's leader to make. Then he told his army to mobilize for war. Then he sent angry faxes to South Korea.
Seriously, who communicates by fax anymore? This guy needs to get with the program.
The Winter Olympics are coming up shortly in Sochi, evidently the only place in the world to have zero gay people. The mayor of Sochi came out and said that personally which is kinda weird, because obsessively concerning yourself with what other grown men do in bed is the third gayest thing you can possibly do.
Justin Bieber reportedly had his house raided because he egged the neighbor's place. The cops found a bunch of drugs, marking the first time in history that someone that was brought up in the music industry too young ended up having an issue with drugs. LIGHT THE SIGNAL FIRES, ARMAGEDDON IS NIGH!!!
But wait, there's more! Shortly thereafter he proceeded to get caught drag racing while drunk and on prescription drugs. And that entire situation just makes me deeply sad. Mainly because he didn't kill himself in the process before the police arrived. Where is the justice?!?
Anywho. Enjoy the SuperBowl. And welcome to 2014. And buy a home. Because I say so.
