So the Olympics are over. How about that? I think we did good. I dunno. I sort of tuned out after images of Ryan Lochte flat drunk came out on the internet. That’s pretty much the highlight of my four year wait. As long as we beat those crazy Chinese, I’m happy.
And hey, while all that was going on we decided to land a rover named “Curiosity” on Mars to roll around and look at rocks. I am sure all felines in America breathed a communal sigh of relief when Curiosity left our atmosphere, considering his longstanding and ruthless habit of killing cats.
Yup. A pun. I’m not above it.
In the world of things that are actually relevant to this newsletter’s intended content, a fact that caught my eye this evening was that the S & P 500 index outperformed most hedge funds out there thus far this year. So, if you’re paying exorbitant fees for handsome men in suits to oversee your money (and I’m guessing that if you have money to be overseen, you are) then you are likely being beaten by someone who invests in the weighted average of basically freaking everything. So congratulations on that. I hope your hedge fund at least has an open bar at their annual client appreciation meet-and-greet.
Let’s hang out with the Grand Old Party for a bit. Everyone is up in arms about the announcement of representative Paul Ryan as Romney’s official runnin’ buddy. If I had a nickel for every time I heard some talking head claim that this is the “game-changer of the election” then I’d have enough to maybe buy a chalupa from Taco Bell.
I don’t watch the news much. It makes my brain hurt. But a few of ’em did say that.
Let’s face facts: this doesn’t mean a damn thing. Vice presidential nominees are as good as an elephant balancing on a big ball. Fun to look at, but essentially useless. Just look at Biden. He’s like that creepy uncle everyone has that lost just a few too many brain cells in the late 60’s/early 70’s. The kind of guy you have to tell, “Yes, I think it’s a great song, but I don’t think everyone wants to hear Free Bird for a seventh time in a row.”
But I have to admit, Ryan’s got his work cut out for him. Sarah Palin set the high-bar for political sideshow entertainment four years ago with her mamma grizzlies and caribou gutting and her uncanny ability to see Russia from her front porch. Ah, those were the good days.
Another well-calculated move on presidential candidate Romney’s part was to chide Todd Akin (a Missouri Republican Senate Nominee) for claiming that a woman’s body has ways of fighting off pregnancy in instances of “legitimate rape”.
Okay. Wow. They’re literally making it too easy for me these days.
First and foremost, Mitt Romney gets the “No kidding, Sherlock” award for siding with ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE WITH A BRAIN STEM IN AMERICA on this issue.
Side note: My mother fussed at me for dropping the S-bomb in my last newsletter (and deservingly so) therefore I have to be a better boy with my language (hence the use of “kidding” above, even though we all know what I meant) or I’m gonna get grounded. Sorry mom.
Second, really Todd Akin? Really? Not only do you think this (which is ridiculous enough), but you allowed this warped thought to travel all the way out of your fat face? On purpose? What the hell, man?
The realtors confidence index (yes, this is a real thing) showed that 85% of respondents reported an expectation of stable or higher home prices next year! Huzzah! This is the sixth month in a row that this index has been up and above the past record of August 2009 when they were…
...completely wrong. Crap.
Okay. Let’s give some credit where credit is due: I don’t think any of us saw the crap grenade that was (and continues to be) Europe’s economic crisis coming. So we can’t knock their expectation too much. And I think in 2009 we were all still too high on Obama-hope to be considered liable for our decisions.
And to further defend the National Association of Realtors’ opinion (I love you guys so much send me all of your business right now and hope you’re all just doing super) the hard stats that have been coming out are worth feeling optimistic about. Shrinking inventory and fewer distressed properties have begun driving up home prices. Mortgage rates continue to be as attractive as a Victoria’s Secret model after you’ve had a couple drinks. Stocks are struggling to maintain their rally, leading investors to seek alternative places to park their cash. Despite the numerous flaming hoops that exist in today’s credit requirements (just ask anyone who’s bought in the past 12 months) things aren’t all that bad in real estate.
Sooooooo, if you’d like to buy a place now seems to be an alright time to do it. And since you’ve got this guy helping finance that home then you’ve got an unfair advantage. Because I’m awesome.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Corn. People are eating it. Let's discuss.
There’s been a severe drought hitting the Midwest that has laid waste to a large percentage of the country’s corn crop this year. The headline I read was “There ain’t been no gol-derned rainclouds up in that there sky for a coon’s age, there ain’t” so I can only assume this is the worst it’s been in over 50 years. Aaaaaaand since we are now required by law to have at least 10% ethanol in our gasoline these days, this drought translates directly into higher prices at the pump.
HA! Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, hippies! Your tree-hugging bloodlust for lower gas prices and less dependence on foreign oil has resulted in higher gas prices. I feel like hugging an oil sheik and gently whispering in his ear “I’ll never leave you again, not even 10%.”
India has enjoyed one of the world’s worst power outages, leaving over 600 million people without electricity. So if you’re computer needs technical support in the next little bit, you’re screwed.
Investigation is still on-going in what is being dubbed as one of the greatest financial frauds of our time. And, given the top-notch financial fraud we’ve seen lately, that is a pretty big allegation. During the stock market/real estate downturn, a number of high ranking bank officials were accused of artificially tampering with and setting the rates for the LIBOR (London Inter-Bank Offering Rate) otherwise known as the rate banks charge one another for overnight deposit lending which is controlled by the British Bankers Association.
Now, that doesn’t sound like a huge deal until you realize that the LIBOR is the underpinning rate behind $350 trillion in derivatives. So, while the blatant fraud assisted in providing very favorable consumer borrowing rates, it also trashed the returns that a bunch of municipalities rely on, wiped out an enormous amount of wealth retirees rely upon, and generally violated an untold amount of confidence in our world financial markets. Barclays has already admitted fault and more than a dozen other institutions have their necks on the chopping block right now.
Pretty awesome, Great Britain. I’m sure your Men’s Gymnastics bronze will be enough to get everyone to forget about this little snafu.
Our housing recovery stats continue to be a mixed bag. Homeownership has hit a 15 year low. The recent Case-Schiller home price index advanced 2.2%. Existing home sales in June dropped 5.4%. Mortgage rates maintain their rock-bottom pricing. Most definitely choppy waters, but I’ll take that any day over the seemingly endless plummet that has characterized the past few years.
The Summer Olympics make me smile like few things do. Once every four years (because no one honestly gives even half a shit about the Winter Olympics) America is united in cheering on our champions as they strive towards glory. Provides a ‘poetic justice’ kind of contrast to the divisive nature of our presidential political season. The inspiration from one individual’s success can make an entire country’s partisan bickering seem downright pathetic.
There’s a lesson buried somewhere in there.
But what the hell: Let’s kung-fu kick that hornet’s nest for fun.
Mitt Romney was recently chastised by the Palestinians for his comments indicating that Israeli culture allowed them to be comparatively more economically prosperous. So you mean to tell me that Jewish people are good with money?!??!?!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!??!?!?!
Yup. That was the whole joke. SO worth it.
Obama enjoyed his own gaffe in the form of “If you’ve got your own business—you didn’t build that. Someone helped you.” Now, while I am sure this comment was intended to point to the communally built system that allows entrepreneurs to succeed in this country, holy hell was it an epically dumbass choice of words. The re-election campaign has gone into back-pedal overdrive mode, which absolutely cracks me up.
To close a little further away from home, the European Central Bank’s top dog Mario Draghi has boldly stated that he will do “whatever is necessary” to preserve the integrity of the euro and keep the currency of the league of nations intact and alive. And if there is anything my upbringing on video games has taught me, it’s that you don’t take something a dude named Mario says lightly.
If that guy gets hold of a fire flower, someone’s going down. Probably Bowser. And I don’t think Bowser has anything to do with this. But everyone loves seeing a scapegoat burn. Especially literally.
HA! Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, hippies! Your tree-hugging bloodlust for lower gas prices and less dependence on foreign oil has resulted in higher gas prices. I feel like hugging an oil sheik and gently whispering in his ear “I’ll never leave you again, not even 10%.”
India has enjoyed one of the world’s worst power outages, leaving over 600 million people without electricity. So if you’re computer needs technical support in the next little bit, you’re screwed.
Investigation is still on-going in what is being dubbed as one of the greatest financial frauds of our time. And, given the top-notch financial fraud we’ve seen lately, that is a pretty big allegation. During the stock market/real estate downturn, a number of high ranking bank officials were accused of artificially tampering with and setting the rates for the LIBOR (London Inter-Bank Offering Rate) otherwise known as the rate banks charge one another for overnight deposit lending which is controlled by the British Bankers Association.
Now, that doesn’t sound like a huge deal until you realize that the LIBOR is the underpinning rate behind $350 trillion in derivatives. So, while the blatant fraud assisted in providing very favorable consumer borrowing rates, it also trashed the returns that a bunch of municipalities rely on, wiped out an enormous amount of wealth retirees rely upon, and generally violated an untold amount of confidence in our world financial markets. Barclays has already admitted fault and more than a dozen other institutions have their necks on the chopping block right now.
Pretty awesome, Great Britain. I’m sure your Men’s Gymnastics bronze will be enough to get everyone to forget about this little snafu.
Our housing recovery stats continue to be a mixed bag. Homeownership has hit a 15 year low. The recent Case-Schiller home price index advanced 2.2%. Existing home sales in June dropped 5.4%. Mortgage rates maintain their rock-bottom pricing. Most definitely choppy waters, but I’ll take that any day over the seemingly endless plummet that has characterized the past few years.
The Summer Olympics make me smile like few things do. Once every four years (because no one honestly gives even half a shit about the Winter Olympics) America is united in cheering on our champions as they strive towards glory. Provides a ‘poetic justice’ kind of contrast to the divisive nature of our presidential political season. The inspiration from one individual’s success can make an entire country’s partisan bickering seem downright pathetic.
There’s a lesson buried somewhere in there.
But what the hell: Let’s kung-fu kick that hornet’s nest for fun.
Mitt Romney was recently chastised by the Palestinians for his comments indicating that Israeli culture allowed them to be comparatively more economically prosperous. So you mean to tell me that Jewish people are good with money?!??!?!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!??!?!?!
Yup. That was the whole joke. SO worth it.
Obama enjoyed his own gaffe in the form of “If you’ve got your own business—you didn’t build that. Someone helped you.” Now, while I am sure this comment was intended to point to the communally built system that allows entrepreneurs to succeed in this country, holy hell was it an epically dumbass choice of words. The re-election campaign has gone into back-pedal overdrive mode, which absolutely cracks me up.
To close a little further away from home, the European Central Bank’s top dog Mario Draghi has boldly stated that he will do “whatever is necessary” to preserve the integrity of the euro and keep the currency of the league of nations intact and alive. And if there is anything my upbringing on video games has taught me, it’s that you don’t take something a dude named Mario says lightly.
If that guy gets hold of a fire flower, someone’s going down. Probably Bowser. And I don’t think Bowser has anything to do with this. But everyone loves seeing a scapegoat burn. Especially literally.
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